Rabbi Aft's Corner

Dear Friends,
 
In a recent item posted by Rabbi Jack Riemer, he was talking about open adoptions, which may provide an interesting topic for a future adult education forum. He included a poem in his discussion which I want to share with you in honor of Mother’s Day:
 
“Once there were two women
Who never knew each other;
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
The first gave you life,
The second taught you how to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you up-it was all that she could do,
The other prayed for a child–
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
The age-old question through the years,
Heredity or environment—
Which are you a product of?
Neither my darling—neither
Just two different kinds of love.”
 
(The poem is taken from a book  called “Serenaid”, and it is published by the Williams Publishing Company of Palm Springs, California).
When I read this poem, I couldn’t help but think of the very special love that a mother provides for a child. I hope that despite the differences that some of us may have had or may continue to have with our mothers, that Mother’s Day on Sunday will provide us with an opportunity to thank our moms for the various ways in which they expressed or express their love for us. I recently officiated at a funeral where I remembered a phrase which my mom used when she said good bye to me on the phone. She would say “so long” instead of “good bye”  or “bye bye.” As I reflected on the life of the woman who had died, I remembered my mother’s words and realized that “so long” as I am alive I will be grateful to her for all the love she gave me and the sacrifices she made for me. I wish I could tell her that even though she died almost 11 years ago, which seems like “so long” ago, I think of her every day. The love with which she nurtured me for “so long” and which seems “so long” ago, has inspired me to be able to “hopefully” provide meaningful love for my wife and our children and “hopefully” has helped me provide nurturing and care for many of you throughout the years. Please take time on Sunday to wish your mom, your grandma, your aunt, your sister, and any woman who has shared or shares a special love with you, a Happy Mother’s Day and say thanks. It seems like “so long” ago that I could say thanks to my mom and I hope she somehow is aware of my appreciation and love for her.
 
Shabbat Shalom,
 
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,
 
Today is the 33rd Day of the Counting of the Omer (The Hebrew letter lamed has the numerical value of 30 and the Hebrew letter gimel has the numerical value of three, hence, the 33rd day). Those who are observant have been in a state of semi-mourning since the second night of Passover. Each night we count the omer as we move from Pesach to Shavuot. As we remember, Passover marks a spring planting and Shavuot marks a spring harvest. During the counting of the omer, which is a grain offering, observant Jews will not get married, cut their hair, or participate in other joyous events (except on Rosh Hodesh, the beginning of the month) as we commemorate a plague which afflicted students. Lag Ba’Omer marks the 33rd day of the counting of the omer which was a day on which the plague broke. In Israel there are major picnics, bonfires, and celebrations, and in the Conservative movement and to the left, people can renew joyous celebrations.
 
The counting of the omer is a way for us to prepare for the revelation at Mount Sinai, which marked a transition from the slave mentality that preceded the Exodus and prepared us for the responsibility of becoming a people in the Promised Land as we received the 10 Commandments. People often can’t just leave things behind and need a ritual in order to make change in their lives. I hope that when we celebrate today in some way (we are going out for ice cream!!), we will take this journey seriously and  leave behind those things that enslave us and find meaningful ways to celebrate life. One of the ways in which we do this is through study and I hope that you will seek out a Jewish book, look in the back of Siddur Hadash and study some of the ethical teachings found in Pirke Avot, or study the readings in the back of the prayer book.
 
Please see an interesting summary of Lag B’Omer below.
 
B’shalom,
 
Rabbi Bruce Aft
 
 
 
Lag Ba’Omer (from My Jewish Learning website) 
The thirty-third day of the Omer is an occasion for happiness during an otherwise mournful period.
 
By Francine Klagsbrun

 
Few of the many couples who marry on Lag Ba’Omer give much thought to why this is one of the very few days between Pesah and Shavuot when Jewish law permits weddings. If they were to investigate, they would find a conflicting array of explanations, all appealing, none definitive.
 
Why We Celebrate
 
The explanations begin with the Omer period itself, those forty-nine days that are counted off one by one between the two festivals. This is a time of semi-mourning, when weddings and other celebrations are forbidden, and as a sign of grief, observant Jews do not cut their hair.
 
Anthropologists say that many peoples have similar periods of restraint in the early spring to symbolize their concerns about the growth of their crops. But the most often cited explanation for the Jewish practice comes from the Talmud, which tells us that during this season a plague killed thousands of Rabbi Akiva’s students because they did not treat one another respectfully. The mourning behavior is presumably in memory of those students and their severe punishment.
 
According to a medieval tradition, the plague ceased on Lag Ba’Omer, the thirty-third day of the Omer.  (The Hebrew letters lamed and gimel which make up the acronym “Lag” have the com­bined numerical value of 33.) As a result, Lag Ba’Omer became a happy day, interrupting the sad­ness of the Omer period for 24 hours.
 
The talmudic explanation makes most sense when put into historical context. The outstand­ing sage Rabbi Akiva became an ardent supporter of Simeon bar Koseva, known as Bar Kokhba, who in 132 C.E. led a ferocious but unsuccessful revolt against Roman rule in Judea. Akiva not only pinned his hopes on a political victory over Rome but believed Bar Kokhba to be the long-awaited Messiah. Many of his students joined him in backing the revolt and were killed along with thousands of Judeans when it failed. The talmudic rabbis, still suffering under Roman rule and cautious about referring openly to past rebellions, may have been hinting at those deaths when they spoke of a plague among Akiva’s students. Possibly, also, Lag Ba’Omer marked a respite from battle, or a momentary victory.
 
A completely different reason for the holiday concerns one of Rabbi Akiva’s few disciples who survived the Bar Kokhba revolt, Rabbi Simeon bar Yohai. He is said to have died on Lag Ba’Omer.
 
Rabbi Simeon continued to defy the Roman rulers even after Bar Kokhba’s defeat, and was forced to flee for his life and spend years in solitary hiding. Legend places him and his son Eleazar in a cave for twelve years, where a miraculous well and carob tree sustained them while they spent their days studying and praying. When they finally emerged, Simeon denigrated all practical occupations, insisting that people engage only in the study of Torah. For this God confined the two to their cave for another year, accusing Simeon of destroying the world with his rigid asceticism.
 
But Rabbi Simeon’s otherworldliness resonated with mystics in his own time and later, so much so that tradition ascribes to him the Zohar, the key work of the Kabbalah (although critical scholars attribute it to the 13th-century Spanish kabbalist Moses de Leon). And in Israel, on Lag Ba’Omer, people flock to the site of his tomb in the village of Meron in the Galilee, near Safed, where they light bonfires and sing kabbalistic hymns. Hasidic Jews follow the custom of bringing their three-year-old sons to Meron to have their hair cut for the first time. (The custom of not cut­ting the child’s hair until his third birthday is probably an extension of the law that forbids picking the fruits of a newly planted tree during its first three years.)
 
Unrelated to Rabbi Simeon, the kabbalists also give a mystical interpretation to the Omer period as a time of spiritual cleansing and preparation for receiving the Torah on Shavuot. The days and weeks of counting, they say, represent various combinations of the sefirot, the divine emanations, whose contemplation ultimately leads to purity of mind and soul. The somberness of this period reflects the seriousness of its spiritual pursuits.
 
Finally, on yet another tack, some authorities attribute the joy of Lag Ba’Omer to the belief that the manna that fed the Israelites in the desert first appeared on the eighteenth of Iyar.
 
Though its origins are uncertain, Lag Ba’Omer has become a minor holiday. (For Sephardim, the holiday is the day after Lag Ba’Omer.) Schoolchildren picnic and play outdoors with bows and arrows–a possible reminder of the war battles of Akiva’s students–and in Israel plant trees. And every year numerous couples wed at this happy time, oblivious to Rabbi Akiva or Simeon bar Yohai, manna or mysticism.

Dear Friends,

As you read this, we are celebrating a college graduation and wish you all Shabbat Shalom. I hope that as you read this, it will inspire you to be “players” at Adat Reyim and strive to make a difference in our community of friends. Many thanks to Bruce Kaplan for sending this to me.

B’Shalom,

Rabbi Bruce Aft [Read more →]

Dear Friends,

This was an exciting week for me with the opportunity to meet the President and to have all the wonderful pictures and video to remind me of this special occasion. It reminded me of how fortunate we are that on a day in which we remembered the Holocaust I could be standing by Elie Wiesel, a number of survivors, and meet the President (see photos here). We should never take for granted the freedom we enjoy in our world and how fortunate we are to live in the United States of America, where we can freely practice our religion. I hope that you will be at Arlington National Cemetery on Sunday by the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at 4:00 pm (the ceremony of laying the wreath begins promptly at 4:15 pm). [Read more →]

Dear Friends,

Today is Yom Hazikaron, Israel’s Memorial Day, which leads into Israel’s Independence Day which begins tonight. A siren sounded last night and this morning in Israel as a reminder that there has been much sacrifice in order for there to be a state of Israel. Almost every family in Israel is touched by loss on this sacred day and I hope that we will all pause to remember the fallen soldiers and others who have died to protect Israel. [Read more →]

Dear Friends,

Due to the kindness of Eileen Filler Corn I had the chance to hear President Obama speak at the Holocaust museum on Monday about his response to genocide in commemoration of Yom HaShoah and subsequently gave him a White Sox kippah. Although the lady in the video blocks some of the conversation, you can see his smile after I present it to him. He also indicates that he will be speaking to him later (he is referring to the pitcher who threw the perfect game after I mentioned the perfect game to him).

It was a thrill and I urge you to check out the speech and Elie Wiesel’s introduction which can be found on C-Span.

Have a good day.

Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

I recently received the following from a friend who lives in Texas. I hope you will take a minute to read it.

As I read this, I was very touched and yet reminded that when things like this happen we really don’t know what occurs. I believe that as we confront issues in our own lives, we are challenged to think about our own faith, what we expect from G-d, [Read more →]

Dear Friends,

Today is Yom HaShoah, the day on the Jewish calendar when we mark Holocaust Commemoration Day. We currently have two students on the March of the Living, which is a pilgrimage to Poland to visit the concentration camps, and then to Israel to commemorate Israel’s Memorial Day and to celebrate Israel’s Independence Day. When they return, they will share their experiences with the congregation.

I have traveled on seven Marches. Sue and each of our children have also participated in this special journey. I would love to have members of the congregation participate in a similar experience and wonder if any of you reading this are interested in helping to coordinate a two week trip, with a week in Poland and a week in Israel. If you are interested, please let me know by calling the study line at (703) 866-5531. [Read more →]

Dear Friends,

I hope that you have had a meaningful Passover. Please note that it is customary to light a yahrzeit candle on Friday night before you light your Shabbat candles since the last day of Passover is one of the days in which we observe Yizkor and remember our loved ones.

In the Siddur Hadash, there is a special prayer which we sometimes read before the Mourner’s Kaddish, which is called Memory and MItzvah (p.411)

[Read more →]

Dear Friends,

Recently Sue and I saw the move about the author, Sholem Aleichem, which is playing at the Cinema Arts Theater in Fairfax. I urge you to go see it because it beautifully describes a Jewish world in which many of our ancestors lived before they came to the United States. The following is a very personal reflection about my response to the movie. I hope that as you read this, you will think about your own religious journeys and what has influenced the choices you have made. During the month of Elul, we are supposed to think about our lives and try to understand what has brought us to the places we are currently occupying in our lives. I hope you find this interesting and perhaps a helpful role model for your own searching. [Read more →]