Dear Friends,
I am looking forward to my 26th summer at the International B’nai B’rith Kallah( an intense Jewish study institute for teenagers in Starlight/Lake Como, Pa). While at the Nationals game last night where the congregation treated 12 cancer patients from Children’s Hospital and a chaperone for each patient, I saw a former BBYO participant from Kallah at whose wedding I had presided. It is always amazing to me the lasting impact that this program has on all of us as this participant is now in his 30′s. He was there with a group of teenagers who were in DC to participate in special BBYO summer programming. I continue to be grateful for the opportunity to have this impact on thousands of teenagers from around the US and Canada and it is gratifying to see alumni of the program who are continuing to make a difference.
Sue and I were talking about the highlights of this year of celebration of social action and Jewish education at Adat Reyim. There were so many opportunities to make a difference in the lives of different people through the 18 social action programs in which congregants participated. I know that many of you were involved in these programs and I am appreciative to all those who made these events a reality. I hope that all of us will continue to be involved in acts of tikkun(repair) in our world. Seeing the looks on the faces of the children at the game last night who are all dealing with cancer really put life in perspective once again. The courage and faith that these young people show is an inspiration to all of us to meet the challenges in our owns lives with similar faith and courage.
I hope that the Strike Out Against Cancer will become an annual tradition at Adat Reyim and that all of us will continue to help others face the challenges which at times can seem overwhelming. A community of friends can make such a difference and our congregation certainly brightened the lives of many through our acts of loving-kindness.
Be safe and stay cool during this hot summer.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce D. Aft
Tags: Messages · Thoughts
As we celebrate the Fourth of July, I hope that all of us will be safe and will have time to make special memories with friends and family members.
When I have been in Israel for Israel’s Independence Day, I have always been inspired by the love which Israelis have for their country. I hope that all of us are thankful that we live in a place where we enjoy the freedoms which we sometimes take for granted. One of the most special parts of attending a Nationals baseball game is when they honor soldiers who have been hospitalized at Walter Reed hospital or have recently returned from overseas and all those in attendance give them a standing ovation. We should also be grateful for all those who had the insight to create a country with the liberties we enjoy and all of those who continue to work to maintain our freedom. As a child, growing up during the Viet Nam war era, it was not always so easy to remain patriotic and to celebrate our country. However, I was taught, that if there are things I didn’t like about America, that I should work to change them and not degrade the special place in which I was blessed to be born.
I hope that we will do what we can to become involved in causes that will help share our blessings with others so that we can continue to create an America that will be a special place for all its citizens. As long as there are poor and homeless, we have work to do so that all can enjoy the beauty of America. Please get involved in our secular community in addition to your involvement at Adat Reyim. America needs all of us to maintain our country as a place that inspires people to realize that anything may be possible if we work hard and believe in ourselves.!
Be safe and Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce D. Aft
Tags: Messages · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
Last Friday night I spoke about the tradition of ethical wills in Judaism. Most of us think about dividing our worldly possessions among our loved ones, but how many of us regularly or ever share what values we would like to leave to our children and loved ones?
I wanted to share my father’s favorite poem since we just celebrated Father’s Day and it coincided with my parents’ Yahrzeits which are a day apart from each other. I was thinking about the legacy which they left me and that other parents and family members leave for each other. One of the many things I learned about John Wooden, the UCLA basketball coach who recently died, is that he wrote his wife a letter each year on their anniversary after she had died and I would like to believe that he shared many special values and moments together with her.
I hope that after you read this poem, each of you will think about taking time to let your family members and friends know what values in life are important enough to you that you wish to transmit them to the next generation.
This poem, written by Sam Walter Foss has made a difference in my life and I hope I will pass its teachings on to those with whom I am close.
The House by the Side of the Road
There are hermit souls that live withdrawn, in the peace of their self content;
There are souls, like stars, that dwell apart, In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths where highways never ran;
But let me live by the side of the road And be a friend to man.
Let me live in a house by the side of the road, where the race of men go by–
The men who are good and the men who are bad, As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner’s seat, Or hurl the cynic’s ban;–
Let me live in a house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.
I see from my house by the side of the road, By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope, The men who are faint with the strife.
But I turn not away from their smiles nor their tears—Both parts of an infinite plan;–
Let me live in my house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.
I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead And mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon And stretches away to the night.
But still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice, And weep with the strangers that moan,
Nor live in my house by the side of the road Like a man who dwells alone.
Let me live in my house by the side of the road Where the race of men go by–
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong, Wise, foolish—so am I.
Then why should I sit in the scorner’s seat Or hurl the cynic’s ban?–
Let me live in my house by the side of the road And be a friend to man.
B’Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft
Tags: Lessons · Messages · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
In this week’s Torah reading, Parshat Hukat, we read about the deaths of Miriam and Aaron.
I was recently asked about the protocol for visiting a shiva home( a house of mourning) and thought that I would write about this important subject in light of this week’s Torah portion where the deaths of Miriam and Aaron are dealt with very differently.
I believe that siting shiva or observing the seven day mourning period after the death of a parent, spouse, sibling, or child, is very cathartic and helps us deal with the trauma of a death. One of the ways in which sitting shiva helps the mourner is that (s) he is surrounded by family members, friends, and people in the community. After someone dies, it is very difficult to be alone and the presence of others helps to deal with the intensity of our grief through providing us the opportunity to share memories about our loved one with others. Frankly, having others around can also provide a bit of a distraction which helps the mourner from becoming totally consumed by the passing of the loved one.
Visitors to a shiva home do not need to necessarily know the people who are mourning or the deceased. Our presence as part of a caring community can be very special so that the mourner knows that (s)he is not alone. As members of Adat Reyim, a community of friends, one can always attend and indicate that one is a member of the congregation and wants to be there with the mourner during the difficult and challenging time. We are taught that there is really nothing one can say when one is visiting the shiva home and so it is our presence that speaks the loudest. We are taught in Pirke Avot, the Teachings of the Sages, or Ethics of Our Fathers, that comforting a mourner is an important mitzvah that each of us in commanded to perform.
As we leave the shiva house we are supposed to say, “May G-d comfort you together with all the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” I often say ” May G-d comfort you at this challenging and difficult time…” Knowing that we are part of a community means so much and that is the gift we bring by our presence.
It can be customary to bring some light refreshments( something with a kosher marking is always safest). although not necessary. Usually family, close friends, and/or the congregation caring committee provide a meal or dessert of consolation, since eating helps to bring the mourner back to life from his/her sadness.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about this important mitzvah.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft
Tags: Messages · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
As we traveled around the country while on sabbatical, I paid special attention to ways in which congregations mentioned those who were ill. I found that the most meaningful custom to me was to ask those who are present at services to mention the names of their loved ones and friends who are ill.
We encourage you to attend services if your loved one is ill so that you can say his/her name. If you can’t make it to services, you may continue to call the name into the office and I will read the list of names silently on Friday night.
If there is a special situation, please let me know. Periodically I will be in contact to see how your loved ones who are on the list are doing and please let us know if the names you call in can be removed because they have recovered.
On a different note, one of the most special things that Sue and I did when we were dealing with my cancer treatments was to sponsor a number of families who are dealing with cancer to attend a Nationals game.
One particularly special memory….a seven year old boy with a brain tumor got to play catch with the Nationals’ manager, Jim Riggleman, wear the mascot’s hat and glove, get an autographed baseball, go into the dugout and clubhouse courtesy of Adam Dunn, and have much of this shown on the big scoreboard. We did this in honor of one of the ushers at the Nationals who is a breast cancer survivor. It meant a lot to us to make a difference in the life of this young man and his family. I hope that we can do the same for at least nine families by donating to the Washington Nationals Dream Foundation. My hope is that the families will be able to go onto the field and perhaps even line up before the game with the players at their positions.
My thanks to Eileen Filler Corn, the Social Action Committee, Mike Wilson, and David Berkowitz who have been working on this event as one of the 18 mitzvah projects.
On a completely different note, when I recently picked up our children and grandchild at the airport, I think our grandson recognized me since we had seen him recently. My colleague, Rabbi Jack Riemer, has said that one of his greatest thrills as a grandpa was when his grandchild recognized him as a human being. Our grandson’s smile and “singing” when he saw me has surpassed the White Sox World Series triumph on my list of highlights!!!! (Okay, maybe it is right up there with their victory 
) We are truly blessed and grateful for the gift of grandparenthood. What a special grandfather’s day present to have that smile.
Tags: Messages · Monthly Article · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
As we prepare to celebrate Shavuot, I hope that you will pause to think about the meaning of this important Festival. On Shavuot, we celebrate the giving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai. There are many academic debates about what actually occurred at Mt. Sinai. Among the issues debated are whether the entire Torah was given, whether just the Ten Commandments were given, or whether the Oral and Written Torah were given at that time and moment in our history. There are some who believe that nothing significant happened at Mt. Sinai and that this is just a folktale.
Personally, I believe that something very significant happened at Mt. Sinai and it doesn’t matter whether the entire Torah was given or just sections, or whether our people have made up a story that has been part of our tradition for thousands of years….What matters to me is that each of us is capable of new revelations and new ways of looking at things. I know that as I get older, I continuously look at things from new perspectives which challenge me to rethink certain ideas and views which I have considered sacrosanct and unchanging.
Shavuot provides an opportunity to rethink situations in our lives from a fresh point of view and I hope that Shavuot will inspire you to free yourself to be open to new ideas, new revelations, and creative ways of looking at important challenges in your lives.
Hag Shavuot Sameach and enjoy some blintzes which have become a traditional food for Shavuot.
Rabbi Bruce Aft
Tags: Announcements · Messages · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
As you read this Sue and I will have returned from the sabbatical and have had a very busy and fulfill-ing time. We have visited our grandson a number of times (never enough!!!), taught in Alaska, Arizona, Blacksburg, Champaign-Urbana, Illinois, at George Mason University, University of Mary Washington, and worked with Hillel at GMU. We have visited a number of rela-tives and caught up with people with whom we just don’t have time to connect while carrying on the rigorous schedule of a con-gregational rabbi.
We are looking forward to this year’s confirmation of our teenagers who I am excited to see again after a four month break. I know that our fourth and fifth grad-ers have just led services on April 30, our sixth graders will be leading the Lunch and Learn on May 1, and that our third graders will be consecrated on May 14. Mazel Tov to all the students and parents as we watch our congregational children growing up!!!
I also am excited that the congregation is honoring those who have worked so hard for so long to make Jewish educa-tion vibrant and an important part of the fabric of our lives. I know that many people have worked very hard to make the event on May 23 a great success and we all owe you a debt of gratitude for all your efforts.
I hope you will join us for our Shavuot services on May 18th at 8:00 pm and May 19th at 9:30 am.
Finally, thanks to all who made it possible for us to have the four month sabbatical. I have learned that it is in every one’s best interests for rabbis and their families to have time to change their routine, relax, recharge, and for congregants to be able to have the opportu-nity to be more involved in spiritual and educational matters.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
B’shalom,
Rabbi Bruce D. Aft
Tags: Messages · Monthly Article · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
As you read this article, I will have begun my sabbatical which will be a busy time, but a nice change of pace. Sue and I will be traveling back and forth to Bloomington, Indiana to visit our grandchild and are very excited to be able to have the time to do this.
I will be the Hillel rabbi at George Mason University for the semester where I will also be teaching in the Department of Conflict Resolution (being a rabbi for almost 29 years has taught me a bit about this ?). I will also be teaching a class in Judaism at the University of Mary Washington and will be traveling to do some workshops in Alaska, Arizona, and other places. Someone recently asked me if I will enjoy being away from the congregation and I responded that, I do not view being on a rabbinic sabbatical as a break from Adat Reyim…I guess I view it as an opportunity to be able to explore new things and to both learn and teach in different settings. I have told a number of you that it is nice to be on parole ?, but after 18-1/2 years of service to Congregation Adat Reyim, we have built something very special and I will miss the opportunities to be a meaningful part of your lives. I hope that while I am away, you will participate in the many activities and services that will continue to occur and will enjoy the new and old faces of those who will be leading these services and programs.
Rabbis Brett Iserow of Beth El Hebrew Congregation and Jennifer Weiner of Ner Shalom will be the rabbis on call and Cantors Sharon Steinberg and Sidney Rabinowitz will also be on call. Finally, our own Jinny Marsh will be available to help out as needed in case of emergencies. These contacts are available in the synagogue office and after hours will be available on the congregation’s answering machine. I will not be responding to congregational messages on the study line or congregational e-mail messages again until April 26th.
Finally, I want to personally let each of you know what a privilege it has been to serve with Dannie Halle as President. Her tireless efforts on our behalf were a wonderful inspiration to me and her courage to continue to make her life a blessing helped in my own personal recovery. She and her family have my best wishes in her new role as past president. I also want to welcome Laurie Rosen whose energy, enthusiasm, and love for Adat Reyim will be contagious and her leadership will be a blessing for all of us.
I look forward to seeing many of you at our congregational Seder on March 29th, and then again after April 26th, and hopefully at our Congregational gala on May 23rd.
Be well and safe in 2010.
Rabbi Bruce Aft
Tags: Messages · Monthly Article · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
As we celebrate Chanukah this month, I want to share a number of thoughts with you. First, I recently attended the Jewish Federations of North America?s National General Assembly which was held in the District of Columbia. The theme of the conference was “Anything is Possible”.At one of the sessions I attended, there was a discussion about the Jewish value of repairing the world. There was a discussion about what makes community service Jewish. One of the points which were raised was the importance of the intention or “kavanah” that people bring to their service.
Hopefully, service provides meaningful activity to bring people together to form and strengthen relationships and facilitate caring communities. One of the ways to make service a priority is to establish service as a value by making it an important part of our children’s and family’s experiences. We need to encourage people that living “important, big” lives is through helping the world to be better. How many of us remember when we were young and idealistic and believed that we could accomplish anything? In the spirit of Chanukah we need to “rekindle” those hopes and each night of Chanukah as we light our chanukiot (Chanukah menorahs), we should talk about a project that we want to become involved with as a family or together with some of our friends.
At Congregation Adat Reyim our B’nai Mitzvah students do a community service project but why limit doing these projects to just one life cycle event?If you need any ideas of ways in which to help, please see the 18 social action opportunities on page 12 that the social action committee has made available in honor of this special year in the life of our congregation.When the Maccabees believed they could keep our people alive during the persecution of the Syrian Greeks, they believed that anything was possible, including keeping our people alive. I believe that the miracle of the oil which lasted for eight days and eight nights reminds us that even the small “miracles” we can provide for those in need, can have lasting impact for much longer that we ever dreamt. Changing one life does help change the entire world.On a separate issue, many of us annually face the challenges of trying to maintain our identities in the midst of all the Christmas commercialization and celebration. I urge you to use this as a time to rededicate yourself to Jewish activities, whether community service or to additional Shabbat or other Jewish observance or study.
I was taught by a rabbinic colleague that perhaps the best way to feel better at this time of year about being Jewish is to build a Sukkah during Sukkot next year so that our neighbors, friends, and those less fortunate can share a meal with us and help us build a structure which reminds us to be thankful for our blessings. Building a Sukkah may help us feel less frustrated by all the attention that is showered upon building Christmas trees and decorating homes.Finally, I hope that we make some time during December to either visit some of the military folks who are wounded at the local military hospitals, or in some way reach out to make the Holidays more fulfilling for those who are serving our country around the world.May you and those you hold dear enjoy a safe, healthy Chanukah and a peaceful 2010.
B?shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft
Tags: Messages · Monthly Article · Thoughts
Dear Friends,
Now that all of the Fall Holidays are complete and we are in the midst of our programming for the year, I hope that all of you had a fulfilling Holiday season and that it has been and will continue to be a time for personal growth.I want to thank everyone who made the High Holidays, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah such a special time. Bruce Kaplan, our religious activities chairperson, told me that it is customary as we complete Simchat Torah, that we say “and Jacob went on his way” as a symbol that now that we have experienced an intense spiritual time, each of us must make our own way and decide what our religious and spiritual futures will hold. We are fortunate to be part of a community of friends, our Adat Reyim, so that as we journey forward, we have friends and acquaintances with whom to make that journey. I hope that we can be there for each other on our journeys.
On a personal note, I wish to thank all of you who have reached out to me with cards, letters, phone calls, and personal contact to express your hope that I will be fully healed from the prostate cancer. As I said on Yom Kippur, ever since we saw the Milky Way in Denali National Park, I believe that the doctors have cured me. Only time will tell, but I am optimistic that early detection, great medical treatment, wonderful friends, loving family members, and having faith to overcome doubts, will help me along the journey to recovery.I also want to publicly let you know that it has been a privilege to work alongside Dannie Halle as our president as she has wrestled with her own ovarian cancer. We have become “cancer buddies” and in a very real way, she has been a continuing inspiration as she has continued to do what she has had to do. I do believe that she has exhibited courage in a significant way and that her own courage has inspired me and hopefully her story on Kol Nidre will inspire many more who have challenges with which to deal. One of the many challenges cancer patients deal with is not allowing the cancer to take over one’s life and our involvement in the synagogue has given us important tasks upon which to focus.
A number of you have asked me if it has been difficult to serve in the midst of my illness and although there were moments of fear and anxiety at certain times, I found that I was uplifted from moments of doubt when I had the opportunity to help others. I do believe that as Isaac went to the same town to which Hagar had been exiled by Abraham and according to one interpretation, comforted her (even though she was the mother of his brother and adversary, Ishmael) after he had dealt with the challenges he faced when his father had bound him to the altar in the akedah, I gained strength from helping you deal with the important occasions in your lives. I do believe that when we help others we help ourselves and hope that all of us when facing difficult times will find the courage to make our lives a blessing by reaching out to others.I hope we will gather at Burke Presbyterian Church on erev Thanksgiving this year as we all give thanks for the many blessings we have and hopefully find meaningful ways that we can share our blessing with those who have not been so fortunate during this past year. I know that I have much for which to give thanks and am grateful.
B’shalom,
Rabbi Bruce D. Aft.
Tags: Messages · Monthly Article · Thoughts
