Rabbi Aft’s Corner

Dear Friends,

As you read this article, I will have begun my sabbatical which will be a busy time, but a nice change of pace. Sue and I will be traveling back and forth to Bloomington, Indiana to visit our grandchild and are very excited to be able to have the time to do this.

I will be the Hillel rabbi at George Mason University for the semester where I will also be teaching in the Department of Conflict Resolution (being a rabbi for almost 29 years has taught me a bit about this ?). I will also be teaching a class in Judaism at the University of Mary Washington and will be traveling to do some workshops in Alaska, Arizona, and other places. Someone recently asked me if I will enjoy being away from the congregation and I responded that, I do not view being on a rabbinic sabbatical as a break from Adat Reyim…I guess I view it as an opportunity to be able to explore new things and to both learn and teach in different settings. I have told a number of you that it is nice to be on parole ?, but after 18-1/2 years of service to Congregation Adat Reyim, we have built something very special and I will miss the opportunities to be a meaningful part of your lives. I hope that while I am away, you will participate in the many activities and services that will continue to occur and will enjoy the new and old faces of those who will be leading these services and programs.

Rabbis Brett Iserow of Beth El Hebrew Congregation and Jennifer Weiner of Ner Shalom will be the rabbis on call and Cantors Sharon Steinberg and Sidney Rabinowitz will also be on call. Finally, our own Jinny Marsh will be available to help out as needed in case of emergencies. These contacts are available in the synagogue office and after hours will be available on the congregation’s answering machine. I will not be responding to congregational messages on the study line or congregational e-mail messages again until April 26th.

Finally, I want to personally let each of you know what a privilege it has been to serve with Dannie Halle as President. Her tireless efforts on our behalf were a wonderful inspiration to me and her courage to continue to make her life a blessing helped in my own personal recovery. She and her family have my best wishes in her new role as past president. I also want to welcome Laurie Rosen whose energy, enthusiasm, and love for Adat Reyim will be contagious and her leadership will be a blessing for all of us.

I look forward to seeing many of you at our congregational Seder on March 29th, and then again after April 26th, and hopefully at our Congregational gala on May 23rd.

Be well and safe in 2010.

Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

As we celebrate Chanukah this month, I want to share a number of thoughts with you. First, I recently attended the Jewish Federations of North America?s National General Assembly which was held in the District of Columbia. The theme of the conference was “Anything is Possible”.At one of the sessions I attended, there was a discussion about the Jewish value of repairing the world. There was a discussion about what makes community service Jewish. One of the points which were raised was the importance of the intention or “kavanah” that people bring to their service.

Hopefully, service provides meaningful activity to bring people together to form and strengthen relationships and facilitate caring communities. One of the ways to make service a priority is to establish service as a value by making it an important part of our children’s and family’s experiences. We need to encourage people that living “important, big” lives is through helping the world to be better. How many of us remember when we were young and idealistic and believed that we could accomplish anything? In the spirit of Chanukah we need to “rekindle” those hopes and each night of Chanukah as we light our chanukiot (Chanukah menorahs), we should talk about a project that we want to become involved with as a family or together with some of our friends.

At Congregation Adat Reyim our B’nai Mitzvah students do a community service project but why limit doing these projects to just one life cycle event?If you need any ideas of ways in which to help, please see the 18 social action opportunities on page 12 that the social action committee has made available in honor of this special year in the life of our congregation.When the Maccabees believed they could keep our people alive during the persecution of the Syrian Greeks, they believed that anything was possible, including keeping our people alive. I believe that the miracle of the oil which lasted for eight days and eight nights reminds us that even the small “miracles” we can provide for those in need, can have lasting impact for much longer that we ever dreamt. Changing one life does help change the entire world.On a separate issue, many of us annually face the challenges of trying to maintain our identities in the midst of all the Christmas commercialization and celebration. I urge you to use this as a time to rededicate yourself to Jewish activities, whether community service or to additional Shabbat or other Jewish observance or study.

I was taught by a rabbinic colleague that perhaps the best way to feel better at this time of year about being Jewish is to build a Sukkah during Sukkot next year so that our neighbors, friends, and those less fortunate can share a meal with us and help us build a structure which reminds us to be thankful for our blessings. Building a Sukkah may help us feel less frustrated by all the attention that is showered upon building Christmas trees and decorating homes.Finally, I hope that we make some time during December to either visit some of the military folks who are wounded at the local military hospitals, or in some way reach out to make the Holidays more fulfilling for those who are serving our country around the world.May you and those you hold dear enjoy a safe, healthy Chanukah and a peaceful 2010.
B?shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

Now that all of the Fall Holidays are complete and we are in the midst of our programming for the year, I hope that all of you had a fulfilling Holiday season and that it has been and will continue to be a time for personal growth.I want to thank everyone who made the High Holidays, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah such a special time. Bruce Kaplan, our religious activities chairperson, told me that it is customary as we complete Simchat Torah, that we say “and Jacob went on his way” as a symbol that now that we have experienced an intense spiritual time, each of us must make our own way and decide what our religious and spiritual futures will hold. We are fortunate to be part of a community of friends, our Adat Reyim, so that as we journey forward, we have friends and acquaintances with whom to make that journey. I hope that we can be there for each other on our journeys.

On a personal note, I wish to thank all of you who have reached out to me with cards, letters, phone calls, and personal contact to express your hope that I will be fully healed from the prostate cancer. As I said on Yom Kippur, ever since we saw the Milky Way in Denali National Park, I believe that the doctors have cured me. Only time will tell, but I am optimistic that early detection, great medical treatment, wonderful friends, loving family members, and having faith to overcome doubts, will help me along the journey to recovery.I also want to publicly let you know that it has been a privilege to work alongside Dannie Halle as our president as she has wrestled with her own ovarian cancer. We have become “cancer buddies” and in a very real way, she has been a continuing inspiration as she has continued to do what she has had to do. I do believe that she has exhibited courage in a significant way and that her own courage has inspired me and hopefully her story on Kol Nidre will inspire many more who have challenges with which to deal. One of the many challenges cancer patients deal with is not allowing the cancer to take over one’s life and our involvement in the synagogue has given us important tasks upon which to focus.

A number of you have asked me if it has been difficult to serve in the midst of my illness and although there were moments of fear and anxiety at certain times, I found that I was uplifted from moments of doubt when I had the opportunity to help others. I do believe that as Isaac went to the same town to which Hagar had been exiled by Abraham and according to one interpretation, comforted her (even though she was the mother of his brother and adversary, Ishmael) after he had dealt with the challenges he faced when his father had bound him to the altar in the akedah, I gained strength from helping you deal with the important occasions in your lives. I do believe that when we help others we help ourselves and hope that all of us when facing difficult times will find the courage to make our lives a blessing by reaching out to others.I hope we will gather at Burke Presbyterian Church on erev Thanksgiving this year as we all give thanks for the many blessings we have and hopefully find meaningful ways that we can share our blessing with those who have not been so fortunate during this past year. I know that I have much for which to give thanks and am grateful.

B’shalom,

Missed my semons on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur this year? They are available to you in MP3 format to listen to. Click one of the links below to listen to the audio of my sermons:

1. Kol Nidre 2009 Sermon (Listen)
2. Yom Kippur Morning 2009 Sermon (Listen)
3. Yom Kippur Afternoon 2009 Sermon (Listen)

Dear Friends,

Throughout the Holidays I discussed personal journeys during my 18+ years at AdatReyim and living in Northern Va. I hope that some of the messages resonated with youand that as we journey through the New Year, you will find your travels meaningful.

Before the Holidays, during a couple of sermons I discussed the idea of belongings vs.belonging.One of the many things that inspired me about our trip to Alaska was howlittle material possessions mean to the people we met. They didn’t seem to care abouthow many belongings they have…they did care about making us feel as if we belonged in their community. They seem to “be longing” for opportunities to experience adventure and to build meaningful relationships with their environment and in some ways with their guests and maybe even each other.

Think about the symbolism of the Sukkah which is open on at least one side, reminding us of Abraham’s and Sarah’s tent which was open to visitors so that they could practice the mitzvah of hachanasat orchim, welcoming visitors. I think that all of us long to welcome others to be closer to us and hope that we can be closer to them. When we welcome ushpizin, or invited guests, into our Sukkot and homes, we create a sense of belonging.

I believe that Congregation Adat Reyim strives to be a place where we “belong” and hopefully we create a sense of longing to create more meaningful and sacred lives.As I pointed out in my sermons on Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur, I learned the temporary nature of our lives very personally this past year and realize that the Sukkah is a very poignant symbol for our time on earth. It reminds us that we are “only passing through” and that given our limited time in this world, I believe we should “be longing” to try to make a difference wheneverand wherever we can.

Once again, I hope that our journeys throughout 5770 will be meaningful and that you will share the highlights and lowlights with me.

Hag Sameach,

Rabbi Bruce Aft 

Dear Friends,
As we approach Rosh Hashanah, 5770, I believe that a Passover question becomes animportant focus of our reflections. On Passover we ask “Why is this night different than all other nights.” This year, I think we should ask the question, “What will make this year different than all other years?”

Recently, I gave a presentation on the Jewish aspects of Randy Pauch’s book The Last Lecture which I had discussed last Kol Nidre. We talked about how his lecture should really be more than a lecture and should be a recipe for how we live our lives. I believe that to quote another Passover ritual, it is not Dayenu, or enough, for us to just come to the synagogue and make promises that we will change our lives. I believe that what will make this year different is that we MUST make changes in our lives, particularly if we are struggling with challenges in our lives. As I write this article, we hear of the tragedy on the Hudson where the plane and the helicopter collided and we hear of a woman driving the wrong way on a highway and killing a number of people. We bemoan these tragedies and feel badly, thinking how lucky we are that these kinds of things haven’t happened to us. And yet…what if something like this, G-d forbid, did happen to us? Would we be satisfied with our lives? What if G-d forbid, we did receive the cancer diagnosis that Randy Pauch received? Wouldn’t that make us feel that this year should be different than all other years, because perhaps it would be our last year on this planet? We are taught to live each day as if we will live forever and also live each day as if this will be the last day of our lives. How do we find balance in meeting the challenges of the day to day details of our lives and also keeping in mind the big picture and maintaining a connection to our dreams, hopes, aspirations, families and all those things which are important to us?

Perhaps as we hear about the journeys of many during the Holiday sermons, including my own after 18 years serving Adat Reyim, we will be inspired to take some significant detours from the roads we are traveling and alter our own paths. Randy, in his book, speaks about his football coach and how the coach would teach fundamentals to the players, reminding them that at any given time, only one player out of 22 on the field has the ball and most of us spend our lives out of the spotlight. Jewish tradition provides great inspiration when it suggests that there are 36 righteous people in every generation, who are out of the spotlight, and yet who make our world a better place in which to live. These are called the lamed vavniks, from the Hebrew letters Lamed which has the numerical value of 30 and Vav which has the numerical value of 6. Together they form this group of people who make a difference in each generation.

Perhaps what will make this year different from all other years is that we will realize that we could be a lamed vavnik and perhaps we will make our world better due to special actions we will take. This is a year unlike any other we have had, in that we will be honoring so many who have made our 18 years, our “life” at Adat Reyim so special. We will be called upon to participate in and financially support a special vision of life long learning and education that is unprecedented in our congregation’s history and I hope that we all will step to the plate to support the vision.

Finally, when Randy’s coach talked about playing football, he underlined the importance of fundamentals, which should remind us that we should remember the important parts of our lives that we treasure and that we would want to celebrate if we were G-d forbid, given that fatal or serious diagnosis or were in that fatal or serious accident. And…let us remember that in 5770, we should practice the first three letters of fundamentals, in that we should always try to have some fun.
May 5770 be a year of fun and fulfillment, good health and may we all be safe.

B’shalom,
Rabbi Bruce D. Aft

Dear Friends,
As I write this article, I am preparing to be at camp and I know that one of the major topics of discussion will be the recent death of Michael Jackson. As I watched all the adulation and praise heaped upon him, I couldn’t help but think about whether anyone is deserving of the praise he received. We know that there were questions raised about his character throughout his life and although any loss of a family member is significant, the world wide outpouring of grief raises a question for me. Who are the heroes in our lives? Who are the people we emulate and what makes someone a celebrity?

We also saw the tragic death of a young athlete, Steve McNair, who as I write this, is supposed to have been murdered by a girlfriend who then committed suicide as her life spun out of control…

Why do I write about these two events? I think they remind us that perhaps we should look at the people who are really important in our lives and upon whom we shower our affection? I do believe that we should think about the heroes in our lives and should talk to our children and those with whom we are close, about who is really important to us. Michael Jackson was a gifted entertainer, but how many people do we know who have died who have really had significant impact on our lives, and yet, they pass away almost unknown and sometimes unrecognized…Be sure to let those that have impacted on our lives know they are special to us and that they have made a difference in our lives while they are living…It is the summer and we should have more time to pick up the phone or send an e-mail, or even to visit them in order to tell them!
I also think that the power of a community to support us during difficult times is a key element of membership in a synagogue. Perhaps McNair and his friend’s lives could have been spared if people in their community had reached out to them.

What makes my experience at camp so meaningful is that 200 of us will join together in a very special community to support and care about each other now and in some cases keep in touch for a lifetime. Don’t underestimate the power of each of us to be able to make a difference in someone’s life.
B’shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft

Dear Friends,

Okay, now as you read this, I have completed 18 years with Congregation Adat Reyim and I am looking forward to leaving soon for my 25th summer at Kallah….Lots of milestones have caused me to become quite existential and to contemplate many significant thoughts.

So here goes…I want to share with you my thoughts about what I believe Judaism has meant to me and can mean to you as we try to integrate Judaism into our lives. I believe that after all these years; I am so blessed and privileged to have served as a rabbi whose responsibility it has been to be a guide into the world of our Jewish heritage. I believe that the most important part of Judaism is its ability to help us face the daily challenges of life. I believe that in Deuteronomy when it states that we should “choose life” that Judaism does provide a meaningful way to choose life.

It reminds us of the potential sacredness of each moment and how each action we perform can be holy as we perform any of the 613 mitzvot or commandments. I believe that our lives can be filled with holiness when we remember that we have a responsibility to help others and to perform acts of tikkun (repair or healing) in our world. I believe that Judaism provides a rich tradition to study and that in the days, months, and years ahead, I hope we can strengthen our programs for lifelong learning so that all of us can find opportunities to share in the inheritance of our rich tradition. I believe that Judaism inspires the building of sacred community and that when we share our joyous events with each other and when we support each other in our challenging moments, we are bringing the Divine presence into our lives. Most importantly, as I reflect upon 18 years, I realize that many of you have trusted me with very personal thoughts at very important times and have allowed me the opportunity to hopefully make some kind of difference in your lives. For most of you, I hope this has been a positive difference in your lives…for some of you; I am sure I have not inspired positive change and hope that you will forgive my humanness and imperfections.

As I wrote in a previous article, I would love to hear what a difference Adat Reyim has made in the life of our teenagers and would also love to hear what it has meant to you to be part of our community of friends When my father-in-law, of blessed memory, helped me write the essay which I wrote in order to gain admittance to rabbinical school 33 years ago, we agreed that life in the rabbinate is avodat kodesh, that working as a rabbi, is a sacred endeavor.

I hope that in some small way your life has been or will be enriched and sanctified by being part of Adat Reyim. I hope you enjoy a wonderful, relaxing, renewing, and safe summer.

B’shalom,

Rabbi Bruce D. Aft

Dear Friends,

Today is another sad day in the life of all people who celebrate freedom. When Stephen Tyrone Johns (may his memory be for a blessing) was brutally murdered yesterday at an institution that reminds us of the horrors of intolerance, we all must pause and offer a prayer that his family will find support during this awful time for them and for us.

Each of us must remember that we can never take our freedom for granted and must do all we can to support the fight against hatred and bigotry against all people. Although the tragedy could have been worse, the Johns family will never be the same and neither will we. In this year when we celebrate what would have been Anne Frank’s 80th birthday, let us remember that she had hope that humanity would still win out and that people would do good in our world.

Let us do what we can to make Anne’s dream a reality. I am also including the statement from the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington. The Jewish Federation of Greater Washington wishes to express its shock and dismay with regard to today’s shooting at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. We mourn the loss of Officer Stephen Tyrone Johns who died courageously in the line of duty in order to prevent further loss of life.

The Museum stands as a living memorial to the millions who died because of intolerance and hatred. Today’s events only strengthen our resolve to stand up to hatred, bigotry and violence.

B’shalom,

Rabbi Bruce D. Aft

Dear Friends,

18 years as your rabbi…As we move into June, this marks the conclusion of 18 years serving as your spiritual leader and I wanted to share some thoughts with you although my guess is that I will be nostalgic a great deal over the next weeks and months…

One of our religious school students asked me recently what I like best about being a rabbi…I think it is clear to me that teaching and working with teenagers has been a chailight for me during my life in the rabbinate.  I am looking forward to my 25th year at the International BBYO Leadership Kallah in Starlight/Lake Como, Pa. this summer where I have taught thousands of teenagers over the years.

But I have thought about what is it that I really like about being a rabbi.  I honestly believe that what I like best about being a rabbi is that I get to represent the greatest tradition in the history of the world.  I get to be able to interpret our Jewish tradition and hopefully (and I am sure for many of you, not always or even often enough) make it meaningful to you.  I have enjoyed being a presence in the lives of those with whom I have had contact and hopefully in some way I have been able to add an important piece to your life.

It would be interesting to hear from you what has been important to you as we have spent chai years (18) together.  We know that 18 (chai) symbolizes life and in a certain way Sue, our children, and I have devoted much of our life to serving our congregation and community.  There are great rewards in being a spiritual presence during times of joy and sorrow, in helping to face the challenges of living in our world, and in being a “listening ear” to so many of you during our tenure here.

There have been frustrations and challenges as I have tried to balance the needs of our congregation and being a husband, dad, son, family member, and friend.  Our children tell me not to look back, but I know that I have not been there for them at many times because of my service to the community and congregation, but life in the rabbinate is filled with having to make serious choices and prioritizing.  Jacob wrestled the angel and emerged wounded but with a new name that indicated that he had struggled with G-d.  And…I think this is the best analogy I can think of about the rabbinate and about us.  We all wrestle with G-d and therefore are part of the people of Israel (B’nai Yisrael), those who do in fact struggle with G-d.   I hope my rabbinate has made a difference to you.

I hope and pray that I have eased some of your struggles and that as we look to the future, we can continue to create meaningful moments of holiness in our lives and kindle and rekindle a sense of the sacred in our world.  I hope we can commit to tikkun olam (repairing the world) and that together we can alleviate a small piece of the suffering in our world.

Finally, there is a story told about an individual who strives to change the world and continues to be frustrated by his/her lack of success.  (S)He continues to try to change her/his country, state, city, neighborhood, and family.  When nothing seems to be changing, this individual decides to change herself/himself, and when that change occurs, herself/himself family, neighborhood, city, state, country, and ultimately the world change.  I feel I have changed (hopefully for the better) over the years and in that way been personally responsible for some positive change in our world.

May each of us be change agents for good in the world and may we each become the individuals who we wish to be, making a difference in the lives of those who are important to us.  I pray I have done even a piece of that for you over the years and am grateful for the privilege of serving our people.

Dan Fogelberg’s song “Leader of the Band” was recently on the radio while I was picking up one of our children at college.  I realized that in fact we are all living legacies to the Leader of the Band, to G-d and our ancestors (Google the lyrics…).  May we all continue to live lives worth remembering and remember we are part of the legacy of all those who have come before us.  May we do what we can to ensure that our descendents will continue the chain of our tradition….

Blessed is O Lord our G-d, Ruler of the Universe, who keeps us alive, sustains us, and allows us to celebrate special occasions.

B’shalom,

Rabbi Bruce D. Aft